Saturday, April 02, 2011

The Improbabilities of being Us

My sister asked me why Aaryan (my nephew) is special. My first instinct was to quote Dr. Manhattan (the blue naked guy) from Watchmen. It goes something like this:
"Doctor Manhattan: Thermodynamic miracles... events with odds against so astronomical they're effectively impossible, like oxygen spontaneously becoming gold. I long to observe such a thing. And yet, in each human coupling, a thousand million sperm vie for a single egg. Multiply those odds by countless generations, against the odds of your ancestors being alive; meeting; siring this precise son; that exact daughter... Until your mother loves a man she has every reason to hate, and of that union, of the thousand million children competing for fertilization, it was you, only you, that emerged. To distill so specific a form from that chaos of improbability, like turning air to gold... that is the crowning unlikelihood. The thermodynamic miracle.
Laurie Juspeczyk: But... if me, my birth, if that's a thermodynamic miracle... I mean, you could say that about anybody in the world!
Dr. Manhattan: Yes. Anybody in the world... But the world is so full of people, so crowded with these miracles that they become commonplace and we forget... I forget. We gaze continually at the world and it grows dull in our perceptions. Yet seen from another's vantage point, as if new, it may still take our breath away. Come... dry your eyes. For you are life, rarer than a quark and unpredictable beyond the dreams of Heisenberg; the clay in which the forces that shape all things leave their fingerprints most clearly. Dry your eyes... and let's go home."

And this is why he is special. Special like every other person in this world. The product of an event with so low probability that it is effectively a miracle.

But then I stopped for a moment. Stopped to think what she might have asked. What it actually meant. And I realized I need to tell her why Aaryan is special. To me. I realized that Aaryan is special, he just is. It cannot exactly be explained clearly in words. What I can attempt is to do my best in imparting the emotion. I am not much for a stickler for norms. But he is special because when I heard my sister was pregnant, I was happy, not because that is the norm, I just was. And every time she would go for a check up, I would hold my breath until I found out that everything was fine. Although, honestly, I was never impressed by the Ultrasound pictures and videos. I also believe that I am a man of science and not much of a believer of God. But when I heard that my sister was in labor a month early, I spent my whole flight to Indianapolis praying that everything be fine and that my sister and the baby just end up fine. This is why Aaryan is special. He made me care that much for someone. And the biggest reason why Aaryan is special is that however miserable he is making my sister and brother-in-law's lives with his baby antics, this emotion is just momentary, I will always think back to the moment when I saw him sleeping in his crib, so small and gentle, and tears started rolling down my eyes, tears telling me that I am really happy to have him in my life. That I really want to become good enough to be his uncle, someone he can look up to. And that is why he is special. To me.